Day 60 – Goodbye to the Old god

And this evening I’m filled once again with a terrible optimism. 

Terrible, because I feel fortunate during this time of social upheaval and suffering. Sometimes I sort of forget, even, about the pandemic (even though I read about it all day in the newspaper — a new habit). Forget because it’s normalized now: mask, hand sanitizer, stand on the social distancing stickers at the grocery store. The usual.

If I feel optimistic it’s because I think I’m seeing old, corrupt systems fail before my eyes. Judging from social media (I don’t have many in-person conversations anymore), this is cause for anger and frustration in most people. But I can’t help but feel the now is an opportunity to cast off our old tyrannical god of money. I feel that this pandemic is an opportunity to rethink how we want to live our lives on a daily basis, to consider who we miss now and who we want to associate with when we have free mobility again.

Reprioritization, I guess is what I’m getting at. Personal reprioritization en masse = reprioritization as a whole society.

Let’s acknowledge that many of our ways of life pre-COVID-19 were cruel, exploitative, irresponsible. Let’s quit worshipping money.

Today the margins of my day grow. I’m feeling like an younger version of myself… like maybe how I felt before smart phones. The fear of the past few months is gone from me, most days. My attention span has returned with a vengeance and increased capacity. I consume newspapers, podcasts, and now books. I’m becoming very well-read again. This is a personal priority for me, a core value. I wander in nature and stop to take photos of beautiful things. 

I’m not mad to return to the crazed rush of before. 

I want to be my true self again, always.

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